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Monday, June 30, 2008


"Mention the lisp and you're dead..."

And an un-deadly debut...

Born on this day in 1941, Peter Pollock took 116 wickets for South Africa at an average of 24.18. The father of Shaun Pollock, he could also swing willow at the bottom of the order, and perhaps his proudest moment came at Trent Bridge in 1965, where he took match figures of 10-87 and then watched on as his brother, Graeme, made 125 and 59. Governor of Selectors following their re-admittance to international sport, he is credited with establishing the work ethic and style of play that saw them rise to the top of the game in the 90s.

Elsewhere on fields of green, on this day in cricketing history, 1930 saw The Don score 254 at Lords, while in 1966, Derek Underwood made a wicketless debut for England at Trent Bridge.

In Rome on this day in 350, Nepotianus the Usurper was killed by rival usurper Magnentius. Storming Rome on June 3 with a band of gladiators, he ruled for 27 days before he was beheaded, with his severed head then carried around The Eternal City on a lance. Nice...

Put down that schwarmer knife and bellow Dogum gunun kutlu olsun! as they do in Turkey to the free-scoring Sanath Jayasuriya (39), Private Pyle actor, Vincent D'Onofrio (49), jealous sibling Ralf Schumacher (33), and former baddest man on the planet, Mike Tyson (42).

Sunday, June 29, 2008


"That's a shocking headline..."

Too Globe to hold...

Say what you want about Scott Styris (Go on, live a little - Ed), but the boy knows how to make a splash. On this day in 2002, 'Pigga' made his Test debut against the West Indies in Grenada, top-scoring with 107 and taking the wicket of a certain Brian Charles Lara. Two years earlier, on his one-day debut, his first wicket was that of Sachin Tendulkar. Like a pig in...

On this day in 1613, in a London of vagabonds and bards, The Globe Theatre burnt to the ground. Famous for an association with Shakespeare, a new building was erected in 1614 and closed in 1642. Then, in 1997, The New Globe opened on a site standing 230 metres away from that of the original.

So join us in a whale meat fuelled  Inuuinni pilluarit! as they do in Greenland to Durham left-armer Simon Brown (39), Nick Nolte clone Gary Busey (62), Disney illustrator Don Rosa (57), and snooker underdog Joe Johnson (56).

Saturday, June 28, 2008


"Bread is the Devil..."

Mushie arrives...

It's all about Australia on this day in history. In 1915, Victor Trumper died of kidney failure. His batting average of 39.04 for the green and gold's may seem, well, average, but on the treacherous pitches of the day, he thrived where others failed and continued to play with abandon. One scribe called him a 'genius without compare,' and ex-player and writer, Plum Warner, said, "No one ever played so naturally. Batting seemed just part of himself, and he was as modest as he was magnificent."

23 years later, in his annus mirabilis, The Don scored 102 not out in the second Test at Lords.

Out in the bush, on this day in 1880, Ned Kelly was captured in Glenrowan. A known anti-authoritarian, he had multiple clashes with police and went on the run in 1878 before murdering three policemen while he was a fugitive. Famous for wearing metal armour when the siege came to a head, he remains a folk hero in Australia, and 32,000 Victorians signed a petition against his hanging on November 11 1880. It didn't do any good...

So join us in a Navajo Indian cry of bil hoozho bi'dizhchi-neeji' 'aneilkaah! to spin genius Mushtaq Ahmed (38), UN chief Dr Hans Blix (80), fat chef Clarissa Dickinson Wright (61), the slowly fading John Cusack (42), and cafe-owner Adam Woodyatt (40).

Friday, June 27, 2008


"To razors..."

Russian's shorn...

Such is the nature of cricket that it has had it's fair share of tragic figures over the years (Gatting again? - Ed), but Bob Appleyard, born on this day in 1924, takes some beating. Only five when he found his father, stepmother and two younger brothers dead in the bathroom of their Bradford home, he also spent 11 months in hospital with Tuberculosis as a youth, and lost his own son to Leukemia. Despite regular bouts of injury that curtailed his international career, there was nothing tragic about his ability. Able to bowl both off-spin and medium with only a slight change of action, his 31 wickets at 17 for England hint at what could have been, and he took 708 wickets for Yorkshire at an average of 15.08. Which is just silly.

And on this day in 1980, Kevin Pietersen was born in South Africa.

Out in the Baltics, on this day in 1709, Peter the Great defeated King Charles Xll of Sweden at the Battle of Poltava. Consistently successful in wartime, his legacy is the Westernization of Russia from Tsardom to the all-conquering Russian Empire. He was so obsessed with this policy that he forced all courtiers, state officials and the military to shave off their beards. Genius...

So it's S dniom roždenija as they'd say while shaving off their beards to South African bowler Dale Steyn (25), fashionista Vera Wang (59), EDS founder Ross Perot (78), and Spiderman Tobey Maguire (33). 


 

NO.5 JAFFA CAKES

 

I'll never forget the day when Goochie walked into the dressing room and announced he had yet another new fitness craze for us. I was dreading it to be honest, but when he said, 'Jaffa Cakes' I almost wet myself. I don't even like them that much, but I'd take them over fruit and pilates any day.

Everyone bangs on about David Boon's record of 54 cans of VB on a flight to England. But when I captained the victorious Ashes team in 86/87, I gobbled 103 packets of these bad boys before we crossed Asia and still had room for five packets of wine gums, a party pack of skips and a Ploughman's that Mrs Gatting had made. Great days...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Just a few reasons to show why Dickie is one of the greatest in history...


Taking 9-52 at The Gabba...


Ten English wickets for 120 runs...


A stellar 86 on his last trip to Lords...


And if the whole world was Hadlee...


"There's no way you're taking me home with hair like that..."

And it's curtains for Julian...

Born on this day in 1951, Gary Gilmour could've been the Australian Ian Botham. A free-hitting, left-handed batsman, penetrative swingbowler and demon slip-fielder, he had the misfortune to have the same name, albeit with a different spelling, as the notorious American criminal Gary Gilmore. That he only played 15 Tests between 1973 - 77 was down to a misdiagnosed injury and a training regime that was more suited to darts, and his 483 runs at 23, and 54 wickets at 24 are merely a glimmer of what could have been. Oh, and just take a look at that barnet.

On a battle field in Mesopotamia (that's a large area made up of modern Iraq, Syria, Turkey and Iran to you), on this day in 363, Roman Emperor, Julian the Apostate, died of an injury received in a campaign against the Sassanid (Persian) Empire. The last non-Christian Emperor, he spent most of his reign trying to rid the empire of Christianity and romote traditional Roman religious practice, and he also removed all of the eunuchs from Imperial office. Messy...

So it's Chronia Pola! as they say in parts of Greece to Nicholas 'grandson of Dennis' Compton (25), all round nice guy and EatCricket hero, Mick Jones of The Clash (53), speed-freak Max Biaggi (37), and pie-freak actor Jason Schwartzman (28). And had he not joined the oak-lined, Chesterfield-laden, gentleman's club in the sky, Sir Denis Thatcher would have been 93 today.

Yeah we hate Jim Carey too, but a headline is a headline...


A montage of him in his pomp...


As host of Indoor League...


And appearing on Dad's Army...


"Honestly, I was going for the ball..."

We don't, in any way, condone the behaviour of Sidebottom and Colly during that run-out at the Oval yesterday, but it did make us laugh when the Kiwi dressing room went beserk. Apparently, they hadn't been that angry since the infamous underam ball in 1981. Clearly, Collingwood should have called Grant Elliot back, it makes no odds that Side Arse said he was, 'going for the ball 100%', it was plain wrong and sets a nasty precedent. The erudite and charming Daniel Vettori was obviously annoyed about the incident, and spoke afterwards about the spirit of the game. Then we remembered an unsavoury incident from 2006, when Murali was ran-out as he walked to celebrate Kumar Sangakkara's ton in Christchurch, 2006. New Zealand Captian that day? Daniel Vettori...

Click here to see both run outs and that daisy cutter...

Blimey, any more 50 over matches like the 4th ODI between England and New Zealand and Twenty20 will be looking over its shoulder...


Side Arse smashes Elliot...



Hang your heads boys...



And this is just plain wrong...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


"That's torn it..."

And Custer's stupidity...

On this day in 1934, Hedley Verity took 14 wickets against Australia at Lords. And while that stat alone deserves rapturous applause, it pales against his achievements as a cricketer and, more importantly, his qualities as a man. In his ten-year career for Yorkshire, he took 1,956 wickets at 14.9, while his 40 Tests bought 144 scalps at 24.37. He took 200 wickets in three consecutive season (1935, 36 and 37), and was one of the only bowlers to have the upper hand against The Don at his peak. Then, in 1939, war broke out, and Verity was made a captain of The Green Howards. In July 1943, his regiment were attacking German troops in a farmhouse in Sicily. With enemy fire reaching a heavy crescendo, Verity was hit in the chest, "keep going, "he shouted, "and get them out of that farmhouse." He was then captured and held as a POW, and died in the camp on 31 July 1943. Eerily, news of his death didn't reach these shores until September 1, exactly four years to the day that he played his last match for Yorkshire...

Out on the plains of Montana, on this day in 1876, General George Armstrong Custer led his cavalry into the Battle of Little Bighorn. Quite how he thought he could defeat 1800 Indian warriors with less than a third of that amount troops under his command. Of German descent, Custer originally wanted to be a teacher or preacher, but couldn't ignore the lure of The Civil War, and had a flawless and decorated career until his last stand.

Join us in a chant of Halala ngosuku lokuzalwa as they do in Zulu to Kenyan batsman Steve Tikolo (37), one trick pony Ricky Gervais (47), Sgt Pepper designer, Sir Peter Blake (76), renegade chef Anthony Bourdain (52), and the legend that is Sidney Lumet (84).


"We should get all that rand in here, eh Goochie?"

Thankfully, the ECB have vetoed the proposed series between England and Zimbabwe on moral grounds, and about bloody time. And with the situation in Robert Mugabe's fiefdom worsening by the day (and no sign of anyone intervening because, in short, there's no oil) it got us talking about the Rebel Tours South Africa in 1982 and 1990. Led by Boycott in 82' (but skippered by Gooch) and Gatting in 1990, the cloak and dagger nature that surrounded them - Boycott's lawyer and best friend didn't find out until he was photographed stepping off the plane - led to a media outcry. And rightly so; it doesn't matter how many of them bleat that the trips were about, 'breaking down barriers', the truth is that they travelled to a country gripped by Apartheid for blood money. They might have have recieved three-year bans at the time (six for John Emburey for unbelievably touring twice), but it's all been brushed under the carpet since...

Rebel Xl

1. Graham Gooch (C) (1982) - Essex batting coach and OBE
2. Geoffery Boycott (82') - Highly paid commentator and OBE
3. Mike Gatting (90') - ECB Managing Director and OBE
4. Chris Broad (90) - ICC Official
5. Bob Woolmer (82') - ex-coach, died in 2007.
6. Bill Athey (90') - Dulwich School coach.
7. Alan Knott (W) (82') - Mentored Jack Russell
8. Derek Underwood (82') - MCC President 2009 and MBE
9. Mike Hendrick (82') - ICC umpire and coach.
10. John Emburey (82' & 90') - Head Coach, Ahmedabad Roclets, ICL
11. Graham Dilley (90') - Head Coach, Loughborough UCCE

Tuesday, June 24, 2008



"Just don't bloody drop it..."

And the batsman's Bicknell...

The word doyen is bestowed far too easily these days, but Brian Johnston, born on this day in 1912, could easily be the dictionary definition. After winning the Military Cross for his work with the Grenadier Guards during the Second World War, he joined the BBC in 1946, and commentated on his first Test in the June of that year. From 1965 - 1970 he split his time between TV (three tests) and radio (two), but was harshly dropped from the TV team in 1970. Focusing solely on Test Match Special until his death in 1994, his easy manner, impeccable use of language and occasional gaffes led him to a special place in the heart of all cricket fans. As well as the famous, 'the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey,' line, he also uttered the memorable, "There's Neil Harvey, standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle." Richie Benaud is great and Aggers an institution, but neither of them can hold a candle to Johnners.

On this day in 1314, 10 miles south of Stirling, Scotland, the Kingdom of England were defeated in the Battle of Bannockburn. It kicked off over a pact between Edward Bruce and Sir Phillip Mowbray over the occupation of Stirling Castle. The first day of battle was highlighted by King Robert the Bruce splitting Sir Henry de Bouhn's head in half with an axe, and this became the battle in a microcosm. Although outnumbered by three to one, the Scots were far more mobile, forcing the English back on this day, and winning the battle (and the First War of Scottish Independence to boot) by slaying 11,000 English infantrymen.

So join us in a cry of Selamat ulang tahun as they do in Indonesia to a musical supergroup starring; Mick Fleetwood on drums (61), Jeff Beck on guitar (64) John Illsey (Dire Straits) on bass (59), and Arthur 'Fire' Brown (64) on lead vocals. Ok, so supergroup may be over egging the souffle somewhat, but it kept you reading...



The opening Ceremony was a wash out...

We're getting annoyed at EatCricket HQ. And it's not only Wimbledon that is getting on our nerves. Here we are, with cricket about to enter yet more unchartered waters in the form of the money spinning Twenty20 events, and the ruling bodies are engaged in a pissing contest. IPL? ICL? BCCI? RAF? What, in the name of all that is sacred, is going on now...

What's the beef?

Tesco finest salt-beef with dijon mustard on multigrain today...

Ha-de-bloody-ha, come on, I haven't got time for this...
Ok, not content with ruling the roost this summer, the Indian Cricket board are refusing to let any rival ICL players play in the Champions League...

But why?
As far as we can see, greed and hubris.

Hummus? How does that effect English teams?
Shut it. Well, 15 of the 18 Counties have players with ICL links...

And if they choose to register them should they go through?
The BCCI will make their own decision...

Which means they'll ban them?
Yes, which is a tart, because the ICL players will be vital in the format.

Where do we go from here then?
The pub, followed by Dehli to have a word, followed by prison...

And the tournament?
Cricket Australia are due to present the rules next week, then the gloves are off...

Monday, June 23, 2008


"I'm off to the dentists..."

And it's g'day from Ray...

You'd have to go a long way to find a better day in history for cast-iron cricketing legends. On this day in 1916, Len Hutton was born in Pudsey, Yorkshire. The first professional to captain England, Sir Len dominated the international cricket scene after the Second World War and retired with a Test average of 56.67, and a first class average of 55.5.

While on this day in 1996, Ray Lindwall died in Greenslopes, Queensland, aged 74. Dominating bowling in the way that Hutton did batting, he took 228 wickets at 23 for Australia, with one commentator moved to say, "if one were granted one last wish in cricket, it would be the sight of Ray Lindwall opening the bowling in a Test match." At the Headingley Test in July 1953, Lindwall bowled Hutton with a second ball yorker, which was received by the crowd with, "the solemnity of a declaration of war."

Out on the high seas, on this day in 1611, the crew of Henry Hudson's ship mutinied and cast him adrift off the coast of Canada. The ship had become caught in ice over the winter, but after it thawed Hudson wanted to continue further into Canada, and his crew were having none of it. Hudson was never seen again, but is immortalised in the Hudson River, Hudson Bay and Hudson Strait.

So drop the cider and scream Penn-bloedh Lowen, as they do in the People's Republic of Cornwall to Ramnaresh Sarwan (28), cocktail maker Bryan Brown (61), ex-Oasis guitarist Paul 'Bonehead' Arthurs (43), KT 'give it up love' Tunstall (33) and American Idol judge, Randy Jackson (42). Had he not waddled off to the pearly Nag's Head in the sky, Buster 'Uncle Albert' Merryfield would have celebrated his 88th birthday today.

Sunday, June 22, 2008


"Just watch that nose..."

And elephants die...

We know he's a huge pain in the arse, but EatCricket love Sourav Ganguly, who made his Test debut at Lords on this day in 1996. The Prince of Kolkata undeniably loves himself, but when all is said and done he can bat the bleedin' lights out, and that'll do for us. Making 131 alongside fellow debutant Rahul Dravid (95), he also snaffled the wickets of Nasser Hussain and Graeme Hick.

Elsewhere in the world of cricket, W.G. Grace made his first class debut on this day in 1865, while 100 years later, Fred Trueman bowed out of Test cricket against New Zealand at Lords.

In Rafah, near Gaza, on this day in 217 BC, Ptolemy lV of Egypt beat Antiochus lll the Great in the Battle of Raphia. With 76,000 and 66,00 troops respectively, the battle came down to, inexplicably, elephants.  Although Antiochus's 103 larger Syrian Elephants began the battle well, the well-organised troops of Ptolemy used innovative military formations to get into position, and his 73 African Elephants came to the fore and spooked the Syrian Elephants which led to panic and, ultimately, victory. Twenty years later,  Antiochus defeated the army of Ptolemy's young son, Ptolemy V, and seized control of Syria and Judea. Despite furious research, EatCricket cannot confirm whether elephants had anything to do with this battle.

Join us in a cry of Eku Ojobi! as they would in Nigeria to Gloucestershire batsman Alex Gidman (27), county legend Kris Kristofferson (72), annoying TV presenter Esther Rantzen (68), Oscar winner Meryl Streep (59) and Primal Scream frontman Bobby Gillespie (46).



Saturday, June 21, 2008


"Looks like the wrong un' here Richie..."

And a Royal son...

Another mixed bag on this day in cricketing history. In 1938, The Don scored his normal unbeaten 101 against Lancashire at Old Trafford in 77 minutes. Did no-one ever think to test his eyesight to see what made him so bloody good? We've dug out a few videos of his footwork and hand-eye co-ordinaton to give you some idea. In 1975, The West Indies beat Australia by 17 runs to win The World Cup, with a ton from skipper Clive Lloyd and five run-outs securing the victory. And in 1992, Ian Botham and Allan Lamb both played their last Test's for England against Pakistan at Lords. They did sod all between them.

On a horrifically bloody day in 1798, The Battle of Vinegar Hill was fought between British Forces and Irish rebels in County Wexford. The battle marked a huge turning point in the Irish Rebellion as it was the last attempt by the rebels to hold off The British. As the rebels began to retreat, the cavalry and infantry were unleashed and set about a massacre of the stragglers who were mostly women and children. They set fire to makeshift hospitals, burning helpless rebels in the process, and were guilty of multiple cases of gang rape of the rebel women. Though not the crushing defeat that has often been depicted, it did alter the course of the rebellion and forced the Irish to change to less effective tactics.

Join us in a loud Mi fresteri ju! as they say in Surinam to ex-New Zealand skipper Jeremy Coney (56), the confused Brandon Flowers (27), balding royal Prince William (26) and warring musician Ray Davies (64). And had she not joined the maligned political dynasty in the sky, Benazir Bhutto would have been 55 today.

Friday, June 20, 2008


"Apparently he used to play for England, but I can't see it..."

Bugsy dies...

On this day in 1954, Allan Lamb was born in the unpronounceable Langebaanweg, South Africa. Probably best known to our younger readers for his terrible 'Beef and Lamb' commercials with Sir Ian, he was persuaded to play for England as a result of his parentage. Technically adroit if unspectacular, he was a feature of the middle-order from 1982-92, and was skipper for three tests in that decade. Always on the round side of 'stocky', his average of 36.02 is probably about fair, and he's probably best remembered as one of several 'Ministers of Fun' in the days when touring parties were one long knees up.

Elsewhere in cricket, this day in 1958 saw Jim Laker help England to knock-over New Zealand for 47 at Lords, and in 1999, Australia beat Pakistan in the World Cup final.

On a stinking hot day in Beverly Hills, on this day in 1947, Jewish gangster, Benjamin 'Bugsy' Siegel was murdered by a mystery gunman. Born in Brooklyn in 1906, he rose from petty crime to become one of the major players in New York alongside Meyer Lansky, and helped to set-up the hit squad, Murder Inc. After forging ties with 'Lucky' Luciano, he was sent to the West Coast in 1937 to develop syndicate gambling rackets in LA. Despite trying to be legitimate and mix with Hollywood glitterati, he was arrested for the murder of informant, Harry 'Big Greenie' Greenberg in 1939. Although he escaped the charge, his reputation was in tatters and he was sent to Las Vegas, where his behaviour became increasingly erratic. Popular myth has it that the gunman shot him in the eye, though police reports show that the bullet entered the back of his skull and that they found his eye on the other side of the room.

So put down the Kosher meat and wail A Freilekhn Gebortstog! as they do in Yiddish to Zimbabwe pace bowler Waddington Mwayenga (24), insane musical genius Brian Wilson (66), 'what's with the long face?' Lionel Richie (59), po-faced actress Nicole Kidman (41) and Zombie freak director Robert Rodriguez (40).

Thursday, June 19, 2008


"Yes! play has finished early...

And it's Boon's test...

It's quite fitting that two blokes who would go onto be cast as figurines for Victoria Bitter both performed on this day in history. At Lords in 1978, Ian Botham recorded his best Test figures of 8-34 in Pakistan's second innings follow-on. Weirdly, he hadn't taken any in the first innings, but he did score a blistering 108 off 110 balls in England's only innings.

While 15 years later, again at Lords, David Boon, the 'Keg on Legs', recorded his 15th Test century as Australia set a target of 632. Despite scores of 80 and 99 from Mike Atherton, Merv Hughes and a young Shane Warne skittled England as they followed on to win by an innings and 62 runs. EatCricket remembers the day well. It ended with a bottle of vodka, 12 diazepam and a failed attempt to attach a belt to the curtain rail.

Dressed in denim, at Sing Sing prison, New York, on this day in 1953, Soviet spies Ethel and Julius Rosenberg did the 'sit down dance' in the electric chair. After meeting at a Young Communist's rally, the pair were recruited by the KGB on Labor Day 1942. Ethel's brother, David, worked for the US government designing trigger switches for atomic bombs and was also recruited. After passing on hundreds of drawings to the KGB - which resulted in the Soviet Union producing an Atomic Bomb called 'Joe " in record time - were arrested after the confession of a courier named Harry Gold. And when David turned witness, the pair were tried on March 6 1951. Many liberal artists of the time protested against the execution, including Einstein and Picasso.

Put down that tapas and join us in a hearty Feliz Cumplea–os! as they do in Spain to Dutch batsman Feiko Kloppenburg (34), author with a death-wish, Salman Rushdie (61), annoying bint Sadie Frost (43), and professional pillock Boris Johnson (44). And had he not joined the wild, untamed island in the sky, Lord of the Flies author William Golding would have been 98 today.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Is there anything that Tendulkar can't do...?


Catch of the century...


Belting Andy Caddick for six...


One Day magic...


Showing he can bowl a bit...


And that record 35th ton...

The footage may be a tad scratchy, but it's The Don for crying out loud...


Ridiculous footwork...


Finding the boundary...


Moaning about the English weather...


The last innings with an interview...


"You can take your Opera house and shove it up yo..."

As Napoleon cries...

Apart from the extra-terrestrial feats of Don Bradman, cricket records don't last that long as the game continues to speed up with every passing week. But Arthur Fagg, who was born on this day in 1915, holds a record that has stood since 1938. Batting for Kent against Essex at Colchester, Fagg scored 244 in the first innings and 202 in the second. It wasn't, however, enough for him to get his England place back that he had lost the previous summer when he caught Rheumatic Fever in Australia, as Len Hutton was in fine fettle. Fagg scored 26,000 runs for Kent in a 25-year career and was a respected umpire until his death in 1977.

In Montreux, Switzerland on this day in 1958, Bodyline skipper Douglas Jardine died. Apparently, he developed a dislike for Australia on the earlier 1928-29 tour when he was being booed at the SCG. When a fellow player mentioned that the crowds didn't seem to like him much, he replied, "the feeling is fucking mutual." And today in 1981, Terry Alderman made his Test debut in the Ashes test at Trent Bridge, recording match figures of 9-130.

Roughly 12 miles from Brussels, on this day in 1815, Napoleon was forced to abdicate from the French throne after losing the Battle of Waterloo. A military innovator, he is credited with many of the artillery formations of today and fathered up to 10 illegitimate children with several different women. He led Le Grand Armee to over 40 victorious battles, but his Civil Code is his legacy. A form of Marxism, he reorganised the vast Holy Roman Empire into a streamlined network of 40 states, and developed a system in Germany that expanded the right to own property and broke feudalism.

Grab a long glass of ale and shout Tillykke med fodselsdagen! as they do in Denmark to South African Test batsman Martin van Jaarsveld (34), the considerably poorer Sir Paul McCartney (66), Dad's favourite, actress Isabella Rossellini (56), Senator John D. Rockerfeller lV (71), and South Africa President Thabo Mbeki (66). And had he not joined the big old racist comedy night in the sky, Bernard Manning would have celebrated his 78th today.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


"You ripper..."

And Vlad impales...

Ok, so the 2007 World Cup might have gone on for what seemed like four months, and could be in grave danger of becoming the cricketing equivalent of the UEFA Cup (no-one cares), but there have been some corking matches in history. On this day in 1999, Australia and South Africa drew in the Semi-Final at Edgbaston. Shaun Pollock's five-for restricted Steve Waugh's boys to 213, but some cracking bowling from Warne coupled with some terrible running from the Boks saw Lance Klusener stranded on 31 from 32 balls with just two deliveries remaining. Australia went through as a result of a higher Super six standing and beat Pakistan in the final.

On this brutal day in 1462, Vlad the Impaler attempted to assassinate Mehmed ll of the Ottoman Empire in a mission known as The Night Attack. Though the assassination was unsuccessful, Vlad had ordered the impaling of 43,000 of Mehmed's troops, which led to the retreat of his rival. His Romanian surname of Draculea, literally translates as 'the Devil' in modern Romanian, and he more than lived up to it. His main reign lasted from 1456-62, and he was known for skinning, roasting, boiling people, feeding them the flesh of their relatives, cutting off limbs and nailing hats to victims heads. Unfortunately, he didn't have the ability to turn into a bat.

So it's a warm Manuia lou aso fanau! as they say in Samoa to Aussie all-rounder Shane Watson (27), Kes director Ken Loach (72), King conk Barry Manilow (65), ex-Mayor of London Ken Livingstone (63), legendary Belgian cyclist Eddy Merckx (63), and ridiculously named musician Jello Biafra (50).

Monday, June 16, 2008


Fuming man in blazer just out of shot...

By now you'll have seen the two ridiculous switch hits by KP against New Zealand in the first ODI at Old Trafford. We know he gets up a lot of noses, but he is also England's only genuine World Class batsman, and EatCricket believe he should be commended for taking the actual mechanics of batting forward at a time when the game is changing at a furious pace. We also agree with him that 50-over cricket has had its day. Unsurprisingly though, the ICC are considering banning the shot as it is unfair on the bowling team as they cannot change the field. It would be easy to say that this is a dead argument if he is smashing the ball over long-on, but it's probably best to listen to Daniel Vettori, who had this to say (without gritted teeth). "It's amazing to see and it's really good for the game that batsmen have the skill to do that. To even it up, bowlers should be able to bowl down both sides of the wide line, then it brings your skill into play." We are trying gamely to substantiate rumours that the ICC want him burnt at the stake as a heretic.

Click here to see the sixes, plus Mike Gatting making an arse of it in 1987...

First six v New Zealand...



And the second...



Here's one he made earlier...



But you've gotta laugh at Gatting...



The Chuckle Brothers stag do got messy...

Tupac arrives...

A good day for elegant batsmen on this day in cricketing history. In 1899, Victor Trumper, made his first test century, scoring an unbeaten 135 against England at Lords. The Bradman of his day, CB Fry was moved to write, "He had no style, and yet he was all style. He had no fixed canonical method of play, he defied all orthodox rules, yet every stroke he played satisfied the ultimate criterion of style- the minimum of effort, the maximum of effect."

While on this day in 1927, Tom Graveney was born, and went on to score 4,882 runs at an average of 44.38 for England.

There have been some marvellous nicknames in boxing, but we particularly like Roberto  'Hands of Stone' Duran, who was born in Panama on this day in 1951. Originally a lightweight, he went onto to become only the second boxer to fight in five different decades, was a champion at five different weights from lightweight - middleweight, and his record of 70 knockouts in 119 bouts saw him voted by Ring Magazine as the 5th greatest boxer of the last 80 years. Which makes him double hard.

So it's uc Mung Sinh Nhat! as they say in Vietnam to Jamaican off-spinner Nehemiah Perry (40), likely lad James Bolam (70), wrestler Ultimate Warrior (49), and country singer Billy Crash Craddock (69). Had he not joined the remarkably graffiti and bullet free ghetto in the sky, Tupac Shakur would have turned 37 today.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


"You sayin' I ain't gangsta'...?"

And The Black Prince arrives...

The duck that stopped The Don from achieving the average of 100 has been well documented. But on this day in 1948, during the first Test of the same tour, Bradman got a second innings quacker after scoring 138 in the first innings at Trent Bridge. Bradman's Invincibles are widely regarded as the finest team in Test history, and it's worth finding an old copy of Brightly Fades The Don by fellow Australian cricketer and journalist, Jack Fingleton. Wonderfully written, it celebrates The Don as an athlete, while questioning his qualities as a human being.

On a desperately unlucky today in 1986, K.K. Tarapore, who played one test for India in 1948, was killed when hit by a motor scooter in Dehli.

In a dimly lit room of Woodstock Castle, Oxfordshire, on this day in 1330, Edward Prince of Wales was born. Known as The Black Prince, he was a fearsome military opponent who decimated The French with his unflinching approach to battle. His use of the chevauchée strategy (burning and pillaging towns)was how he came upon his nickname. He fought at least ten major campaigns in France, including The Reims campaign which led to England controlling half of the country, and he died in 1371 of a wasting illness, which denied him the chance of succeeding his father as King.

So we raise a bottle of vodka and bark Pazdravliayu s dniom razhdjenia! as they do in Russia to Kenyan batsman Maurice Odumbe (39), lambchop legend Noddy Holder (59), steel-magnate and darling of Loftus Road, Lakshmi Mittal (58), stone faced actress Courtney Cox (44), boy in the hood Ice Cube (39) and second best actor in the family, James Belushi (58).   

Saturday, June 14, 2008


"So I threw the grenade and retired to the bar..."

And it's Groundhog Day in Nottingham...

We're starting to go round the bend here at EatCricket, and it's got nothing to do with the Mogadon prescription. No, it's ex-England batsmen that are sending us doolally, in particular their averages, and today it's the turn of Herbert Sutcliffe who made his Test debut on this day in 1924 against South Africa. Scoring 64 in a match that also featured fellow debutant, Maurice Tate, Sutcliffe formed an opening partnership with Sir Jack Hobbs that has never been bettered on this Sceptered Isle. Reaching 1000 Test runs in 12 innings (one fewer that The Don), his Test average never dropped below 60 in his 11-year career (he finished with 4,555 at 60.73) and he added a further 50,670 runs for Yorkshire. More concerned with figures than style, he batted with an open stance with his bat pointing to third slip, and relied on impeccable footwork to nullify pace on the treacherous pitches of the era. We have no idea why he failed to receive a Knighthood.

14 years later later, on this day in 1938, Don Bradman scored an unbeaten 144 against England at Trent Bridge.

In Boston, on this day in 1962, Albert DeSalvo murdered his first victim. Known as the Boston Strangler, he murdered another 12 women before his eventual capture in 1964; sexually assaulting and then strangling them with an article of clothing. DeSalvo was first incarcerated aged 12 for assault, battery and robbery, and was twice tried by Court-Martial while in the US Armed Forces. The case has long been shrouded in mystery because of inconsistencies in his confession, and it is doubted whether he was responsible for all 13 murders. Sentenced to life in 1967, he escaped in the February of that year in protest of the conditions, and was found murdered in the infirmary wing of Walpole State Prison six years later.

Don your robes and join us in a soothing chorus of Droonkher Tashi Delek! as they say in Tibet to South African batsman Boeta Dipenaar (31), King syrup Donald Trump (62), the cross-dressing pair of Paul O' Grady (53) and Boy George (47), and buck-toothed comedian Alan Carr (32). Also, had he not joined the small yet forceful band of revolutionaries in the sky, Che Guevara would have turned 80 today.

Friday, June 13, 2008


"Give it a rest chaps, i'm only off to the gents..."

And a ton of tons for Wally...

In a 21-year career for Surrey, Alec Bedser took 1924 wickets at an average of 20.41, and went on to become President of SCCC and Chairman of Selectors for England. Yet it was on this day in 1953, aged 35, that he burnt his initials into the pantheon of English cricket, taking match figures of 14-99 against Australia at Trent Bridge. He and twin brother Eric sit comfortably alongside the Compton's as the pre-eminent cricketing siblings, though his reputation was tarnished by supporting the Apartheid regime in South Africa, and was a selector when Basil D'Oliveira was left out of the England team in 1968/69. With 236 Test wickets at 24, Bedser was Knighted for services to cricket in 1996.

18 years earlier, on this day in 1935, Wally Hammond scored his 100th hundred for Gloucestershire against Surrey. It is futile to try and asses who is the best English batsmen to have ever padded up, because the records of so many present cast-iron cases, and Wally's is no different. He stands third behind Bradman and Lara for double Test centuries (7), broke Bradman's world record when he notched 336 not out against New Zealand in 1932, and in all scored 58,000 runs at an average of 55. Bravo...

On this fighting day in 1935, Jim Braddock beat Heavyweight Champion Max Baer as a 10-1 underdog. The pugilistic pride of Hells Kitchen, New York, Braddock made a career out of upsetting the odds, and had a spell as a docker before returning to the ring. Baer had taken the fight as he thought Braddock was 'a chump', but this notion was dispelled when he took everything Baer threw at him and battered his way to a unanimous decision. Enshrined in boxing history as the man who eventually lost to Joe Louis, he was bought to life by Russell Crowe in the 2005 film, Cinderella Man.

Throw on the Leiderhosen, grab a litre of beer and boom, Ois Guade zu Deim Geburdstog!, as they do in Bavaria to Twenty20 (5), ex-New Zealand stalwart Chris Cairns (38) Noel Laureate mathematician John Forbes Nash (80), David Gray (40), Jackass sadist Steve-O (34), and Betty Ford inductees in waiting, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (22). Also, on this day in 1970, The Beatles released The Long and Winding Road, which became their last UK number one.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

 

It's widely held that Trueman could bowl a bit, but when you consider that over 30% of his England wickets came by sending the off-stump spinning towards the wickie, we're asking 'where's the bleedin' Knighthood?' And of all the bowlers to have reached the 300 mark, no-one comes close to this percentage. Glenn Mcgrath skittled 76 of his 563, Allan Donald heard the death-rattle for 62 of his 330, and Malcolm Marshall knocked over 73 of his 376. Of course, this means nothing. It's just an exercise in stretching out a statistic...

 

It's widely held that Trueman could bowl a bit, but when you consider that over 30% of his England wickets came by sending the off-stump spinning towards the wickie, we're asking 'where's the bleedin' Knighthood?' And of all the bowlers to have reached the 300 mark, no-one comes close to this percentage. Glenn Mcgrath skittled 76 of his 563, Allan Donald heard the death-rattle for 62 of his 330, and Malcolm Marshall knocked over 73 of his 376. Of course, this means nothing. It's just an exercise in stretching out a statistic...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


"Listen EatCricket, I will not lend you a monkey..."

Stone the crows; does Twenty20 ever stop to draw breath? hot on the heels of the furore surrounding the Champions League announcement, the ECB have agreed to play the West indies in a one-off , £10 million, winner-takes-all tournament called The Stanford Cup. It will held every Autumn for the next five years. So what's the 411...?

So that's £50m over five years, right?

Correctumundo...

Don't do that, ever. How does it work?

England play against the Stanford All-Stars, made up of players from the existing Caribbean Stanford Cup...

Who's this Allen Stanford fella?
Texas-born millionaire committed to sorting out the structure of sport in The Caribbean...

So KP gets his wish then?
If England win he does...

No appearance fees?
Nope, £500,000 per winning player...

But that's only £5.5 million...
Ooh, get you. Another million is then spread between the victorious team and coaches...

But that's onl..
Yes, I know, give me chance. The other £3.5 million is split between the England and West Indies cricket boards...

Didn't we propose that yesterday?

Yes we did, I'm just cleaning off the crystal ball to check the winner of next year's Ashes...

Click here to see the 2008 final between Trinidad & Tobago and Jamaica...

We're praying that he comes back for one more crack. And we've patted ourselves on the back for not mentioning text messages...

Our ball of this century...

Googly vs Ganguly...

A ripper of a commercial...

Scaring the natives...

And a musical tribute...


We miss Brian Charles Lara more than cider lollies. Here are a few reasons why...

400 against England. 'Bat in the air, Lara...'

Bowled by the fairer sex...

Felled by The Rawalpindi Express...

In disbelief at a cheating Steve Waugh...

And this is worth it for the hook off Warnie alone...

It's no secret that Beefy saved his best work for The Ashes. Join us in celebration...

Here he flays Merv Hughes in Sydney...

Goes wild at Edgbaston...

Takes a five-for at the MCG...

Of course there's that spell in 1981...

And then loses all sense of perspective at Buck House...


"That's 15 Bournville Road..."

While Troy gets it...

These days, any idiot who can put right foot in front of left without falling on his arse is bestowed with the legend tag, but on this day in 1938, a cast-iron, copper-bottomed, fur-lined ledge started a long and fruitful career with a debut ton against the Aussies. The cliche, 'boys own stuff' could have been invented for Dennis Compton. The original Brylcreem Boy, he found no need to marry a horse-faced bint, preferring to concentrate on scoring cart loads of runs and turning out on the right wing for Arsenal. Famous for his absent-mindedness - he once forgot his kit, only to saunter into the Old Trafford museum and borrow an antique bat to score 155 -Trevor Bailey stated that, 'a call for a run from Compton should be treated as no more than a basis for negotiation'. He scored 5807 at 50 for England, won the league in 1948 with The Gooners, and rattled off 36,942 (at 51.85) runs for Middlesex in a 22-year career. Oh, and he played 12 times for the England football team in Wartime Internationals. If Beckham's balls are golden, God only knows what Compton's were made of.

While we're on legends, raise a flagon to Rachael Heyhoe-Flint, who was born in Wolverhampton on this day in 1939. Women's Cricket doesn't get a lot of love, but 'Flinty' deserves all that you have. Captaining England from 1966 to 78, she was unbeaten in six Test series and once batted for eight-and-a-half hours for a series saving 179. In 1963, she hit the first ever six in women's cricket and captained England to the Women's Cricket World Cup in 1973. A director at Wolves, the double-barelled name is a misnomer.  When EatCricket met her at a charity golf day in a previous life, we're pleased to report that her accent is as thick as natural yoghurt. 'Bostin...' she said of the 2005 Ashes.

In the days of skirts and sandals, on this day in 1184BC, Troy was sacked and burnt in the Trojan War.  In case you've forgotten, the war started after a tear-up between the Goddesses  Athena, Hera and Aphrodite over a golden apple. Ok, look, we know it all sounds a bit dodgy, this fighting between gods and all, and we also doubt the brevity of that huge horse and accept that the film version was utter tripe. In 1870, though, German archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann excavated a