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Cricket News

A selection of the latest Cricket News on the interweb

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On This Page

Hansie's farewell...
Mike Gatting's World of Cake...
Sobers up...
Border bows out...
Smoking Sehwag Punishes Proteas
Sir Lance-a lot...
Sri Lanka break Caribbean duck
Something's Amiss...
Delhi DareDevils...
England seal series win...
Saints, Sinners and Chicken Dinners
Child makes Test debut...
Monty leads England charge...
Pakistan win the World Cup
ENGLAND CLOSE IN ON VICTORY!
KIM HUGHES CAPTAINS THE AUSSIES
ENGLAND BACK ON TOP IN FINAL TEST
BEN HOLLIOAKE 1977-2002
BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!
England Struggle In Final Test in Napier
RAIN RAIN GO AWAY...
SHAUN UDAL IS BORN! NO, REALLY!
ENGLAND LOSE FIRST EVER TEST MATCH!
Jimmy Five!
Chennai Super Kings...
England batsman dies...
I PREDICT A RIOT!
Ambrose shows the way forward
New Zealand v England 2nd Test Preview
CRASH! BANG! WALLOP!
Hoggy and Harmy dropped...
Singh when you're winning...
Australia Postpone Pakistan Tour
Dimi joins IPL
Hat-trick heroes
Stump Apartheid cricket...
ENGLAND IN QUITE GOOD SHOCKER!
Forlorn Vaughan...
Out with a Bang...
The sleepy Nightwatchman…
MADCAP LILLEE SCENARIO OCCURS!
And thats why I don't like cricket!
Master Blaster...
Anderson Answers Auckland Call
Bond shaken…
Taylor-made England Toil
England win the Ashes...
IPL Team Guide...
Zimbabwean wisecracker reaches the big 4, erm 5…
New Zealand 282/6 v England
New Zealand v England Preview
India Win CB Series
ALLAN BORDER DOUBLES UP FOR OZ
INZAMAM ENTERS THE WORLD
BOWLING ACTIONS WE’VE KNOWN AND LOVED
Dear Eat Cricket...
BRADMAN BLAZES AWAY
GARY SOBERS MAKES HISTORY

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Monday, March 31, 2008



Controversial captain's final innings...

Today in 2000, Wessel Johannes "Hansie" Cronje scored 79 against Pakistan in what would be his final international innings for South Africa. Just eight days later, Delhi police would reveal that they had a recording of a conversation between South Africa’s popular captain and a representative from an Indian betting syndicate. After admitting that he’d accepted between $10k and $15k from a London-based bookmaker for forecasting results prompting him to be sacked as captain three days later. Only two years later, Cronje would be killed in a plane crash, aged just 33. Despite all that went on, he would still be voted the 11th greatest South African in 2004 from a forgiving public…

And after plans were recently announced to give the Eiffel Tower a makeover, it was today in 1889 that the 985ft high tower was officially opened to the public. Costing just £260,000, Alexander Gustave Eiffel’s creation must be one of the biggest money-spinners on the planet as tourists pay to walk up the thousands of steps to get a view of Paris.

Speaking of money-spinners, Chicago’s Whitcomb Judson probably died a rich and happy man following the invention which he patented today in 1896, the zip fastener. He would’ve stormed Dragons’ Den. As would, no doubt, Scottish engineer John Logie Baird, who today in 1930 installed his invention, the television, in 10 Downing Street for the Prime Minister.

And we say Runako Morton! as they say in West Indies to South African Test batsman Hashim Amla (25), former Yorkshire and Essex man Paul Grayson (37), Roma's hairband-donning Phillipe Mexes (26), Scottish trainspotter Ewan McGregor (37) and Nobel Peace Prize winner, former US Vice President and all-round Earth saver Al Gore (60).

 

No.2 Black Forest Gateaux

 

For me, there’s only one cake to have after a sumptuous meal of prawn cocktail, steak Diane and a few glasses of Black Tower. Yes, say what you like about the Black Forest Gateaux but it never fails to hit the spot. Never. Typically, I’ll go for a slice that’s nearer a half of the entire cake rather than the standard third. It just saves the effort of ordering some more later. Invariably, I’ll get the lion’s share of the cherries too.

 

You know, not many people know this but the proper German name for it is 'Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte'. It means, quite literally, ‘Black Forest Cherry Cake’.

 

We had some on a Tour of India once. I say ‘we’ but I had all but one slice of it. The Judge had the rest. Greedy bastard.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


Windies legend makes test debut...

Sir Garfield St Auburn “Garry” Sobers is considered by many to the greatest all-rounder the game of cricket has ever seen. With a Test batting average of 57.78, a total of 8,032 runs and 235 Test wickets, it’s not hard to see why. But if you had to guess which team he made his debut against on this day in 1954, you know you’d get it right first time. Correct, the opponents that have helped launch a thousand talents. At the tender age of 18, Sobers earned his first cap against England, and would earn his 84th and final cap against them too almost 20 years later to the day. Elsewhere in cricket, today in 1997 a New Zealand first class record was being set as Canterbury scored a somewhat daunting 777 against Otago.

And as French President Nicolas Sarkozy makes his first visit to this Island he may not want to be reminded about today in 1814, when European forces allied against Napoleon and his French empire marched into and captured Paris. Elsewhere the Queen Mother died today in 2002 aged 101, prompting millions of people to mourn a little old woman they’d never met before. And on a day of drama President Ronald Reagan was shot by John Hinckley in 1981. It was later revealed that he was motivated by an obsession with Jodie Foster and a desire to impress her. Which, let’s be honest, is just silly.

We say Tim Southee as they say in New Zealand to Australian batsman Martin Love (34), Greg Blewett’s (65), former Manchester United and Czech Republic star Karol Poborsky (36), legendary strummer Eric Clapton (63) and loose-trousered rapper MC Hammer (45). 

Saturday, March 29, 2008

It's a day for half-decent Aussie cricketers...

Today is a day of firsts and lasts in world cricket. It was the date of the first ever Test between Australia and New Zealand in 1946, when debuts were made by Australian greats Ray Lindwall, Keith Miller and Don Tallon. While Pakistan's Mushtaq Mohammad bowed out from Test cricket today in 1979, just as the great Allan Border did today in 1994 when he played his final ever test, against South Africa, 15 years after making his debut against England.

Today in 1981 was the first time thousands of runners struggled their way through the streets of the capital in the inaugural London Marathon. Whichever sadomasochist decided to set a trend by doing it in ridiculous fancy dress has left a legacy that is unlikely to end until some daft sod dies of exhaustion dressed as Mr Incredible. Ten years earlier to the day Charles Manson and three of his cult were sentenced to death for murdering seven people including film director Roman Polanski’s pregnant wife.

While in 1973, the USA completed the withdrawal of troops from Vietnam after ten years of military involvement which claimed the lives of over 57,000 US soldiers. And in 1997 the genius that is Sir Stephen Hawking claimed that any contact with alien life would be a “nasty” experience. Genius indeed…

We say Monty Panesar! as they say in Blighty to ex-New Zealand captain Geoff Howarth (57), Australian Don Nash (30), Monty Python legend Eric Idle (65), Former Prime Minister and spitting image puppet John Major (65) and ageless beauty Elle Macpherson (45).

Friday, March 28, 2008


Virender Sehwag: 'Can I bat left-handed now Rahul?'

India 468 for 1 (Sehwag 309*, Jaffer 73, Dravid 65*) trail South Africa 540 by 72 runs


So there's a fight for second spot in the Test rankings going on in Chennai.

India and South Africa are getting some batting practice in. The Proteas might have enjoyed first use of a placid pitch but India have hit back with vigour.

What did Harbhajan punch Dale Steyn?

No but he did take five wickets. South Africa made 540 in their first innings with Hashim Amla patiently manoeuvring his way to 159 helped by Greame Smith (73) Neil McKenzie (94) and Mark Boucher (70) but 'the turbanator' weaved some magic for his 21st five-wicket haul.

Mammoth effort. How did India respond?

As only India can. Virender Sehwag had everyone drooling with a brethtaking triple century.

Wow! That's the second time he's gone past 300 isn't it?

He joined Brian Lara and Sir Don Bradman as the third guy to reach the landmark. But more impressively he did it in only 278 ball, beating Walter Hammond's monster effort against New Zealand in 1933 by 77 balls.

He's not bad is he?

Sehwag's last ten hundreds have been in excess of 150, so his conversion rate is pretty useful. Makhaya was very generous giving him a full bunger on leg stick to go past 300 and now he's unbeaten on 309, equalling his previous Test best.

How about the other two guys that had a go?

Wasim Jaffer's (77) doggedness and Rahul Dravid's (63*) customary brick wall were the perfect foil for Sehwag. It was the first time India had posted two double hundred partnerships.

Must've been cheating!

Takes one to know one...



A West Indian spinner beating the Indians at their own game? You better believe it...


Today in 1962, Lance ‘long fingers’ Gibbs had the Indians in a spin returning remarkable figures of 8-38 off 53.3 overs. Remarkably all eight wickets came in a ruthless 15 over spell to the tune of six runs at a packed Kensington Oval, Barbados. Also today, military medium pacer, Bob Appleyard was denied a hat-trick for the second time in the match as England condemned New Zealand to the lowest ever Test score of 26 in 1955 while Mr. Devastation, Viv Richards smashed a swashbuckling ton in the maiden Test held on his home Antigua Recreation Ground in 1981.


In the not so important news, America suffered its worst ever commercial nuclear disaster on 3 Mile Island in 1979, while in 1965, Martin Luther King led a crowd of 25 000 to the state capital of Montgomery, Alabama to protest on civil rights.

It’s Rahul Dravid! as they say in India to England captain and true grafter Nasser Hussain (40), along with Sri Lankan spinner turned umpire Asoka De Silva (52), queen of the hotpants Kylie Minogue and wedding crasher Vince Vaughn (38). 


Chaminda Vaas: 'I want Jerk Chicken'

Sri Lanka 476 for 8 dec (Jayawardene 136, Warnapura 120, Vaas 54*) and 240 for 7 dec (Warnapura 62, Samaraweera 56) beat West Indies 280 (Sarwan 80) and 315 (Bravo 83, Sarwan 72, Gayle 51*, Vaas 5-61) by 121 runs

Enjoying the other cricket?

Yeah i'm the best in my office. Scored a ton this morning but I was caught off the dartboard.

Gutting. No I mean In the West Indies. Sri Lanka managed their first win on Caribbean soil in five attempts.

Not as good as my first win in the kitchen. It only took me a morning. Scores on the doors?

The Lions won by 121 runs. This new bloke Warnapura had a good one, scoring 182 runs in the match while captain Mahela Jayawardene got a century in the first innings but no such luck for the Windies.

What? No free rice & pea...

Funny.... Ramnaresh Sarwan did his utmost scoring 80 & 72 and he had some stubborn support from Dwayne Bravo, second dig, who helped himself to 83 but Man of the Match Chaminda Vaas ripped through the heart of the Islanders with 5-61 to go alongside his 3-48 in the first innings.

What was the weather like?

Beautiful, Calypso, Carnival...

So when's the next Test?

Starts on April 3rd but then there's the ODIs so it's shaping up to be hot, hot, hot...

Just like my rich vein of form in the office then....

I suggest you go back there...

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Score of the day is 99...

Today in 1973 a Test match between England and Pakistan was unusual for the number of nervous 90's that were on show. When Dennis Amiss was run out one short of a century he became the third player to be dismissed on 99 in the match. While also on this day in 1982, Pakistan's Imran Khan demonstrated his undoubted class with the ball in Lahore as he ripped through Sri Lanka's batting order with match figures of 14-116.

Elsewhere today in 1997, 40 members of an American cult killed themselves believing that they were going to link up with a UFO near the comet Hale-Bopp, while 583 people died in the world's worst aviation accident in history today in 1977, when two jumbo jets collided on a runway in the holiday destination of Tenerife. Happier times on this day for Scotland though as in 1871 their Rugby side beat the English in the first ever Rugby Union international.

Finally we say Majid Haq! as they say in Scotland to South African pace bowler Roger Telemachus (35), Cardiff footballer Jimmy Floyd Hasslebaink (36), Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas (33), blood-loving mega-nerd Quentin Tarantino (45) and American warbler Mariah Carey (38).  

Virender Sehwag. What a card...

Continuing our unmissible guide to the forthcoming IPL…

No. 3 Delhi

Team Name: Delhi DareDevils
Owner: GMR Holdings
Home ground: Feroz Shah Kotla
Franchise winning bid: $84m
Coach: Greg Shipperd
Captain: Virender Sehwag
Star players: Mohammad Asif (Pakistan), Glenn McGrath (Australia), Daniel Vettori (New Zealand), AB de Villiers (South Africa), Dinesh Karthik (India)
Total team cost: $5.6m
Odds to win: Joint second favourite @ 5/1
First game: v Rajasthan, April 19, Delhi
Fact! The coordinates for the city of Delhi are 28.61,77.23. Don’t mention it. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Kev laughed off Ryan's suggestion that size didn't matter...

ENGLAND V NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST, NAPIER – DAY FIVE


England 253 & 467-7d beat New Zealand 168 & 431 by 121 runs

Great news!

It sure is…

Yep, my lottery numbers came in…

Oh right, I thought you were going to talk about the cricket…


Well there’s that as well,

Go on…


Well, England finally bowled New Zealand all out for 431 to win the match by 122 and seal their first away series win since 2005.

Great stuff. Though not as easy as it should have been?


No, late resistance from debutant Tim Southee, who came in at number nine to score 77 not out, meant that there were some gittery moments for England.

Tim who?


Southee. He’s the nineteen-year-old who took five wickets in England’s first innings. He smashed seven sixes and two fours to score the fastest ever Test fifty by a New Zealander and the sixth quickest of all time.

Fair play. So who took the final five wickets for England?

Monty continued his spell of spin wizardry as he took Test best figures of 6-126, with the wickets of Taylor, McCullum and Patel to add to his wickets from day four. Anderson took one and Sidebottom got the final wicket.

Apt.


Why is it apt?

Because he won man of the match and man of the series.

Hang on, aren’t I supposed to be telling the story?

Go on then carry on.

No, that’s it now.

Touchy. So how much did you win?

Sorry?

In the lottery…

Oh, a tenner…

Don’t spend it all at once…


Clever... Seven wickets... Seven balls!

England win for the first time on foreign soil since South Africa way back in 2004/5...


So England in Test series overseas shock...

Amazing isn't it! England just love coming from behind and being the underdog...


Lots of topless dancing on the balcony then?

Shame on you. It's just not the English way...


Fine! So who were the stars and sinners?


England's bowlers were magnificent. Ryan Sidebottom was the player of the series by a country mile, including a hat-trick at Hamilton, a ten-wicket haul, two five fors, rolled in with pure aggression at its best.


Anyone else stand out?


Stuart Broad. His 42 at Napier kept KP interested and his tireless metronomic bowling proved invaluable and shows England may have at last found a quality all-rounder. James Anderson's rip snorting first spell at Wellington was class and quite possibly the turning point of the series.


Did the new wicketkeeper catch a cold?


Tim Ambrose was boiling hot desipte being under a shed load of pressure but his counter attacking ton at Wellington lifted England and showed them to stop being a bunch of wet nappy's and get on with it.


And what about the Kiwis?


It was a bit stop start but they found a revelation in 19-year-old Tim Southee - a 5 wicket haul and a swashbuckling 77* off 40 balls on debut - shame it was in defeat... Poor lad!

What about the senior statesmen?

Ross Taylor isn't a 17-average anymore. A career best 120 followed  by a couple of  sturdy half-centuries capped his belated birth into Test cricket. Jacob Oram and Kyle Mills were sorely missed in the final test. Mills' sensational five over spell that yielded four wickets backed up by Oram's miserly tight-fisted medium pacers got the Kiwis off to a flyer in Hamilton.


So England won does that mean Michael Vaughan got the better of Daniel Vettori?


Vaughan will take the plaudits for winning the series and sacking off Messrs Hoggard and Harmison but his batting is politely circumspect. Vettori is Mr. Consistent and finished as New Zealand's third highest run-scorer, which says a lot about his top order. His bowling was solid if unspectacular.


Who was about as useful as a chocolate teapot?


Alastair Cook didn't break any records.... apart from becoming the youngest English  batsmen to reach 2000 runs while the two Matthew's, Bell & Sinclair weren't worth the entry fee nor the undeserved clapping everytime they walked out and quickly waltzed back into the dressing rooms.


What's next for England then?


Well New Zealand loved getting a kicking, so much so that they're coming back this summer. South Africa are docking into these shores a bit later too, so it's all very exciting...


Not really! I'd rather watch paint dry...


Whoever said you can't win with kids clearly wasn't talking about cricket...

Today in 1959, this cool cat, Mushtaq Mohammad, made his Test debut for Pakistan against the West Indies. Mohammad would go on to captain his country and play in 57 Tests and 10 ODI's, becoming one of the most successful ever Pakistani all-rounders. But his Test debut 49 years ago today wasn't your usual fare, for Mohammad was just 15 years and 124 days, becoming the youngest ever person to play Test cricket. However it wasn't all sweetness and light as he scored a paltry 18 runs as Pakistan were defeated, before running home to his mother.

It's a great day of firsts today, beginning in 1780, when Britain's first ever Sunday newspaper arrived, when the wonderfully-named British Gazette and Sunday Monitor was published. It just rolls off the tongue. Britain's first cremation took place in Woking in 1886, while BBC Radio began its first weather forecasts in 1923. Popeye became the first cartoon character to be the subject of a statue when one was erected in Texas in 1937, and in 1973, the first woman stockbroker was allowed on the floor of the London Stock Exchange. More recently, the smoking ban first came into effect in Scotland today in 2006, meaning a lot more angry Scotsmen out on the street than normal…

And it's Ryan Sidebottom! as they say in England to South African umpire Rudi Koertzen (59), Everton footballer Mikel Arteta (26), Bolton's talented lump Kevin Davies (31), English pout-on-a-stick Kiera Knightley (23), shiny-headed Tory William Hague (47) and American actor, director and former half-vulcan Leonard Nimoy (77).

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Monty connects with high-five shocker...

ENGLAND V NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST, NAPIER – DAY FOUR

England 253 & 467-7d v New Zealand 168 & 222-5

So then, have England won yet?

Not quite. After batting for another half an hour, England declared on 467-7, with Broad adding to his first innings 42 with a handy 31 not out. It leaves New Zealand needing a highly improbable 553 to win the match.

Surely even England couldn’t concede that score?

You wouldn’t think so. Especially now that they have the hosts at 222-5.

Brilliant. Has Sidebottom taken another fiver?

Actually no. Monty’s got in on the act with 3-49, taking the wickets of both openers and Stephen Fleming just as New Zealand were steadying the ship. He also bowled 14 maidens.

Crikey. Cue his over-the-top yet loveable celebrations then?

Indeed. Second Test hero Jimmy Anderson wasn’t as economical however, giving away 54 runs from just ten overs.

So who got the other two wickets?


Stuart Broad got the other two, leaving the tail end firmly in view as the final day approaches.

So McCullum and Vettori to share a world record eighth-wicket stand as they bat the day out then?

Probably…

More World Cup anguish for England

Today in 1992 England did what they do best as a sporting nation, and lost in a World Cup. This time it was in cricket, and to Imran Khan's Pakistan side, who bowled England out for 227, winning by 22 runs. Wasim Akram was the man who did the damage as he took three wickets, including the prized one of Ian Botham for a duck, and claimed the man of the match award.

A year earlier, Allan Border was showing that he wasn't too bad with the ball as well as bat. He amassed over 11,000 Test runs in a career that ended with him as Australia's most capped player and leading test and one-day run scorer. But it was today in 1991 that he showed just how good he was with the ball too, as he took 5-68 against the West Indies at Bourda. It would be his second career five wicket haul and his slow left arm spin would claim 39 Test and 73 one day wickets.

Elsewhere today in history, juvenile students at Oxford and Cambridge made silly jokes as both boat race crews had female coxes for the first time in 1989. It’s also a big day for new leaders. Today is the National Day of Greece after King George of Greece was deposed in 1925 when new rulers proclaimed the country a Republic, while way back in 1306, Robert the Bruce was crowned King of the Scots, and Robertt Runcie was enthroned as the new religious leader of the Church of England, becoming the 102nd Archbishop of Canterbury.

And we say Ramnaresh Ronnie Sarwan! as they say in the West Indies to New Zealand cricketer Brooke Walker (31), former All Saint Melanie Blatt (33), ex-Watford chairman Elton John (61), while Lawrence of Arabia director David Lean would be whopping 100 today had he not died in 1991 of cancer, aged 83.

Monday, March 24, 2008

ENGLAND v NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST, NAPIER - DAY THREE

Come on then, England all out for 95 I’m betting, NZ on verge of victory, etc, etc...
Not a bit of it. Get this: 416 for 5 at the end of the third day.

Hang on, that’s a lead of… a lead of, erm… a lead of…
I’ll tell you. It’s 501.

Game over then…
You’d think so. New Zealand will have to chase down a world record target of at least 501 to win the match and the series.

Thank the Lord that Harmison isn’t playing. That’d be 300 in extras straight away…
Quite.

So who made all the runs?
Messrs Strauss and Bell. Both hit marvellous tons but Strauss was the pick, hitting a Test best 173 not out and shoving his critics worlds right down their throats.

Critics like you then?
No, not me. Always been a fan. The bloke’s a genius.

And Belly?
A tidy supporting role of 110, 74 of which came in big boundaries. It was his. He was finally caught out by Mathew Sinclair at mid-off as he tried to bosh Daniel Vettori back down the ground with one hand tied behind his back, his eyes glued shut and with his back to the bowler.

Would have been some shot…

New Aussie captain. Not a woman...

Today is the day that in 1979 Kimberley John Hughes made his first appearance as captain of the Australian cricket team. Despite having a girl’s name, Hughes was one of the finest batsmen of his generation, with nine Test tons and 22 50s to his credit. That said, he did look like a girl when he burst into tears during the press conference to announce his resignation as skipper in November 1984. Interestingly, Hughes is also the only man in history to hit a six on all five days of a Test match. Needless to say he did it against England at Lords in 1980.

Elsewhere, this is also the day that in 1958, Elvis ‘the Pelvis’ Presley was inducted into the US Army, the idea being that he could lull the enemy into submission with his velvet vocals and come to bed eyes. This is also the day that in 1973, Pink Floyd released their landmark album Dark Side of the Moon on a largely unsuspecting public. And finally, this is the day in 1989 that the oil tanker Exxon Valdez ran aground in Prince William Sound, Alaska, spilling 11 million gallons of crude into the sea and messing up the seagulls new hairdos.

It’s Ijaz Faqih! as they say in Faislablad to former ECB chief executive Tim Lamb (55); WWE wrestler The Undertaker (Not a qualified funeral director) who’s 43; gruff British businessman Alan Sugar (61) and Peyton Manning, the Indianapolis Colts quarter-back (32). This would also have been Harry Houdini’s 138th birthday but the fool challenged a student to hit him in the stomach as hard as could in October 1926 and the student went and ruptured his appendix. He died soon after of peritonitis. 

Sunday, March 23, 2008

ENGLAND v NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST, NAPIER - DAY TWO

Happy easter and all that...
Yeah...

Get many eggs?
Plenty. They're all packaging though, aren't they? Rip-off is you ask me...

I didn't. Shall we do the cricket?
OK, so England resumed on 240-7 and in a hugely impressive faet of resilience and intestinal fortitude clung on for eight whole runs before being bowled out.

Did Broad get his 50?
No. He was out first ball.

Who did the damage?
Test debutant Tim Southee, that's who. He took five for 55.

So now you're going to tell me that NZ made 285 without loss, aren't you?
Au contraire, mate. They were bowled out for 168, thanks to the magnificent Ryan Sidearse, who ripped through the Kiwis, taking seven for 47. He's now the leading English wicket-taker in a series in New Zealand.

Blimey. England are gonna win this series, aren't they?
Every chance now, especially as they added another 92 for 2 by stumps. That gives them a lead of 178.

I knew they'd come good...
Liar.



Cricket mourns the loss of Hollioake

Today is the day that in 2002, talented young England all-rounder Ben Hollioake died in a car crash on the way home from a family party in Perth, Australia. Hollioake played just two Tests for England and 20 One Day internationals and though he never really replicated his county form for the national team, his form towards the end of his life suggested he was finally beginning to fulfil his undoubted potential. This is also the day that in 2003, the Australian cricket team defeated India to win their second successive Cricket World Cup. Well done chaps. Really well done.

Elsewhere, this is the day that in 1743 Handel’s Messiah had its premiere in London, doubtless attended by Denise Van Outen, that bloke out of Blue and assorted Big Brother rejects. And in 1998, the loathsome crime against film, Titanic, scooped 11 Academy Awards, including, laughably, Best Song, for the dirge from Celine Dion.

It’s Atul Wassan! as they say in Mumbai to former England captain and ball tamperer Michael Atherton who turns the big 4-0 today as does Blur and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn. It’s also cards and gift vouchers to Wet Wet Wet singer and one-time heroin addict Marti Pellow (43); Welsh punching machine Joe Calzaghe (36); five-time Olympic champion Steve Redgrave (46) and soul gutbucket Chaka Khan (55).

Saturday, March 22, 2008

MARCUS TRESCOTHICK CALLS TIME ON INTERNATIONAL CAREER

Marcus Trescothick has announced his retirement from international cricket. The 32-year-old has been suffering from a stress-related illness which makes travelling abroad difficult. The former England opener, who played in 76 Tests and 123 one-day games, said he was retiring now so that the England team could plan their future. "It is in the best interests of all concerned the issue is put to rest so the England team can concentrate on moving forward," he said. "I have tried on numerous occasions to make it back to the international stage and it has proved a lot more difficult than I expected. I want to extend my playing career for as long as possible and I no longer want to put myself through the questions and demands that go with trying to return to the England team."


ENGLAND v NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST, NAPIER - DAY ONE





So here we go then, final Test, the decided and all that?

Hang on, aren't you the bloke from In Golf We Trust.com?

Might be. But I also love my cricket. L.O.V.E. It. Love it...
Shall we get on with it? Time's pushing on. Got Easter Eggs to buy and all that...

Roger. Wilco...
The name's Steve actually...

So this cricket lark then?
Well, England closed the day on 240-7 which on the face of it is a decent score.

Why?
Well, were it not for Kevin Pietersen's 11th Test ton, England would have all but killed off thier chances of winning this series.

Bad was it?
You could say that. At one point England were 4 for 3, with Alistair 'Big Cook Little' Cook and skipper Michael Vaughan going for two each and and Strauss going for a duck. Ian Bell (9) was also out before lunch.

Good job KP did his bit then?
Yep, it was a decent knock too. Twelve fours and a big old six helped England out of a hole while Paul Collingwood (30) and Stuart Broad (42 n.o.) provided some much needed support.

So tomorrow then?
That's another day...

Yeah, and?
England will do well to reach 300 while New Zealand will still feel they're in the driving seat.

Are they using a car then? On the pitch? That's not allowed is it?
Here we go again....



Weather batters England SA World Cup semi...

This is the day that in 1992 the first seeds of what became known as the Duckworth-Lewis method were sown when Engalnd beat South Africa in controversial circumstances in the World Cup semi-final. After a rain delay, the rule in use for revising target scores in rain-affected matches revised the South Africans' target from 22 runs from 13 balls to an impossible 22 runs from one ball. This rule was replaced for One-day International matches in Australia after the World Cup, and it was eventually superseded by the Duckworth-Lewis method for the 1999 World Cup onwards. The revised D/L target for the match, incidentally, would have been four runs to tie or five to win from the final ball. Oh well, at least Engalnd won. That's the main thing.

This is also the day that in 1956 the American civil rights activist Martin Luther King was fined $500 for organising a illegal boycott of the buses in Alabama by black people. This is also the day in 1979 that the British ambassador to Holland, Richard Sykes, had a bad day. Well, we say ' bad day' but he was actually shot dead on ihs doorstep which, thinking about it, is just about as bad as it gets. And in 1888, the Football League was born.

It's Stuart Broad! as they say in England to slightly over-rated American actress Reece Witherspoon (32); musical criminal Andrew Lloyd Webber (60); and Scottish darts legend Jocky Wilson (58). This would also have been the 121st birthday of Marx brother Chico Marx had he not died of cardiovascular disease in 1974.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Stop the press!

This is the single most important day in cricket history. Trust us. Yep, today is the day that in 1969 the world watched in awe as Mr and Mrs Udal of Farnborough, Hampshire gave birth to their son, Shaun David. Later, he would grow up to be an off-spinner of some repute, playing four Tests and 11 one day internationals for England. Sorry, we lied about it being that important.

 

Elsewhere in the non-cricketing world France and Algeria signed a truce in 1982 to end the Algerian War after 130 years of colonial French rule. While in 1992 South Africans voted for political reforms to end apartheid. The Russians were off walking in space for the first time today in 1965, when Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov popped outside his spacecraft for a little meander to pass the time.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

 

Today’s the day that in 1877 the first ever Test cricket match was played when England took on Australia at Melbourne Cricket Ground. Typically, England collapsed to 108 all out on the final day, giving the home side a win by 45 runs. Gutless swines. Incidentally, we don’t have a picture of the game so here’s a picture of a young Darren Gough with his wife and pet dog instead.

 

Elsewhere, this is also the day that in 44 BC the Roman dictator Julius Caesar was stabbed to death by a gang of senators including Brutus, an act which gave rise to Caesar’s now famous last words ‘Arrrgh!’ This was also the day that in 1892 that Liverpool FC was formed, amid chants of ‘Yanks Out’ around Anfield. Finally, this happens to be the day that the first ever internet domain was registered. Curiously, it wasn’t www.boobs.com but the rather less interesting www.symbolics.com

 

It’s Tamim Iqbal! As they say in Bangladesh to former West Indies quickie Colin Croft (55); ex-Pakistani opener Mohsin Khan (53); ludicrous male model Fabio (47); faded 80s singer Terence Trent D’Arby (46); Desperate Housewives hot-pot Eva Longoria (33).

Friday, March 14, 2008

One day Kev would be able to star jump just like Jimmy...

England on top in Wellington...

James Anderson vindicated England selectors’ decision to bring him back into the Test side with a fine display of swing bowling that has put England in the driving seat in the second Test against New Zealand.

Anderson finished with figures of 5-73 as New Zealand were bowled out for 198, leaving England 148 runs ahead when they reached stumped on 4-0.

Earlier Tim Ambrose reached his maiden Test century after resuming on 97 following a nervy night’s rest. Ambrose became the first England wicketkeeper to reach a ton since Alec Stewart in 1997 when edged Oram wide of the slips, though his luck ran out on 102 when he edged Kyle Mills to Ross Taylor. Paul Collingwood’s 65 was the only other score of note as New Zealand encountered little resistance from the tailenders, to bowl the tourists out for 342.

But any disappointment with the first innings score was quickly cast aside with Anderson’s three early wickets of Bell, How and Sinclair to leave New Zealand floundering on 31-3. Stephen Fleming and Ross Taylor looked to have undone all of England’s early work however when they put on a fourth-wicket stand of 71, in particular punishing some sloppy fielding from, guess who, Monty Panesar, who was responsible for two fours and a good chance of a run-out.

But Fleming’s defiance was eventually ended after tea by that man Anderson again, the former Black Caps captain caught at point by Kevin Pietersen on 34. Anderson then claimed his fourth five-wicket haul with the scalp of Ross Taylor, who’d earlier reached his 50 from 74 deliveries. Anderson’s haul is all the more galling for New Zealand given that Auckland gave him the chance to regain his form in their four-day match last week. It’ll be the last time they make that mistake.

At 113 with six wickets down, Daniel Vettori and Brendan McCullum added a quick-fire 52 runs in just five overs to give a bit more respectability to the score until Stuart Broad took his first Test wicket since his return with the crucial wicket of McCullum, caught in second slip by Andrew Strauss.

Vettori got to yet another half century from 42 balls, reaching 50 by smacking Broad over third man for six. But up stepped Paul Collingwood with career best figures of 3 for 23 to mop up the tail and leave New Zealand’s captain stranded with no partners remaining. Michael Vaughan and Alistair Cook took no risks as they survived the remaining five overs to finish the day on 4-0, 148 runs ahead.

Surely now even England can’t mess this one up...

The million dollar man...

No, not a packet of ciggies, but the next installment of our IPL team guide...

No.2 Chennai

Team Name: Chennai Super Kings
Owner: India Cements and N. Srinivasan
Home ground: MA Chidambaram Stadium
Franchise winning bid: $91m
Coach: Kepler Wessels
Captain: MS Dhoni
Star players: Muttiah Muralitharan (Sri Lanka), Matthew Hayden (Australia), Stephen Fleming (New Zealand), Jacob Oram (New Zealand), Makhaya Ntini (South Africa).
Total team cost: $5.9m
Odds to win: Second favourite @ 5/1
First game: v Mohali, April 19, Mohali
Fact! The city of Chennai, formerly Madras, also has a team in the rebel ICL League, called the Chennai Super Stars.

The man with the sixth highest test average passes away...

It was on this day in 1981 that the cricketing world lost the many talents of Ken Barrington, aged just 51. One of the most reliable batsmen of the post-war ear, Barrington represented England in 82 Tests, amassing nearly 7000 runs and posting a final Test average of 58.67, a feat which places him sixth in the highest Test averages of all time. He was also voted Wisden Cricketer of the Year in 1960.

Elsewhere in the world, a wacky looking fella by the name of Albert Einstein was born on this day in 1879. Genius, maybe, but at the end of the day, Einstein ultimately failed in his attempt to find a unified field theory to encompass gravitation, subatomic phenomena, and electromagnetism… so there. Most important of all, however, the New English Bible was published on this day in 1961. Much better than the old one it must be said. Great stories. Like a big old book of fairy tales. Only true, apparently.

It’s Tertius Bosch! as they say in South Africa to Australia’s former fiery left-arm pace pace bowler Bruce Reid (45); acting legend Michael Caine (75); music magician Quincy Jones (75); young acting irritant Jamie Bell (22); Newcastle benchwarmer Steve Harper (33) and one third of music visionaries <em>Hanson</em>, Taylor Hanson (25). This would also have been the 94th birthday of Bill ‘Compo’ Owen, star of the hilarious BBC sitcom Last of the Summer Wine had he not died of pancreatic cancer in 1999.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Calcutta crowd turn sour as things take a turn for the worst in India…

On this day in 1996, the cricketing world had a dark, unwanted shadow cast over it. The 1996 World Cup- held in India- had been threatened by crowd violence from the outset. These threats finally became an ugly reality in the semi-final match between India and Sri Lanka held in Calcutta, when, in the sweltering heat, a record-breaking crowd of over 100,000 people erupted into a violent furore.

Having lost seven wickets for 22 runs in only 70 balls, India found themselves on the verge of defeat. In a city where cricket was a not only a way of life, but a welcome respite from everyday struggles, the dream of a World Cup title quickly slipped away. Fires were started in the stands, plastic bottles, fruit and stones thrown onto the field, resulting in Sri Lanka taking their place in the final by default. And they say the Geordies are passionate folk.

On a somewhat brighter note, however, the first professional striptease took place at Divan Fayonau Music Hall in Paris on this day in 1894. And, the driving test as we know it today was voluntarily introduced to Britain’s road, making life safer, though ridiculously more expensive for us all.

And we say Vijay Madhavji Thackersey! as they say in India to former Windies batsman Robert Samuels (37), Dutch football genius Edgar Davids (35), Italian great Bruno Conti (53), Disney legend Donald Duck (78) and rapper Common (36). This year would have been English cricketing legend Ivo Bligh’s 149th birthday, but the elixir of life wasn’t about in his day.


Tim Ambrose could've been auditioning for the circus...

Close of day one: England 291/5


Tim Ambrose and Paul Collingwood rescued England from another diabolical batting collapse with an unbroken stand of 155 as the tourists closed on 291/5 - 135 of which came in a pulsating final session.

Ambrose didn't mull around and admire the accurate and unremitting medium pacemen like most of his predecessors, choosing instead to counter attack his way to successive half-centuries as the Warwickshire wicket-keeper ended the day on 97 not out.

Ambrose hit 15 fours and two sixes in his blistering 137 ball innings and found valuable support from Collingwood who shepherded his apprentice and soon became a mere spectator to his junior's muscular talents.

It was a topsy-turvy day with the tide changing as swiftly as the blowing Wellington wind. Alastair Cook and Michael Vaughan guided England safely through the morning session with minimum fuss as the scoreboard read nicely on 79/0 at the interval. Cook became the youngest England batsman to pass 2000 Test runs in only his 26th outing.

England should've enjoyed their lunch but it became clear that whatever they ate certainly made them more cautious in the afternoon session after the Black Caps regained the initiative with some nagging line and length bowling.

England plummeted to a perilous 155/6 with Jacob Oram doing the early damage removing Cook (44) & Vaughan (32) in consecutive overs and Andrew Strauss didn't hang around too long either after being completely outfoxed by a teasing Kyle Mills slower-ball. Ian Bell did little to assure the selectors he is coming back into some form with the scratchiest of 11s and Kevin Pietersen who was more fluent for his 31 followed soon after - suddenly all the hard work the two openers had preciously grafted for before the break was undone.

If lunch satisfied New Zealand's appetites then tea was much more to England's liking. First, Ambrose and Collingwood set about sealing the drip before proving attack is the best form of defence.

Oram continued to bowl the occasional jaffer in amongst his military mediums but Ambrose refused to bow down and once he launched into a Mills short ball, Ambrose found himself in the nineties but Oram would have the last word with a metonymical final over to keep the new face nervously three runs shy of a maiden Test century.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


England need Stuart Broad firing on all cylinders in his 2nd Test...

Peter Moores has played his biggest hand to date by axing experienced seamers Steve Harmison and Matthew Hoggard and turn to the younger, fresher & fitter athletes, James Anderson and Stuart Broad.

Harmison & Hoggard took a combined 2-278 in Hamilton, so it wasn't that hard of a decision really... There's only so long you can go on saying "well they've got 460 Test wickets between them and you can't put a price on experience..." (Shame Brian Ashton wasn't listening)

Neither are 100% fit and it's no use giving them an ice-bath and a quick rub down after the days play. A Test match lasts five days and the weary Harmison definitely looks like a man who has fallen out of love with the game.

Broad must not be tempted to try and bowl too quick and let his left shoulder fall away as he readies himself for execution. If he can get that right, he should enjoy this deck as much as anyone. The fact he can hold a bat adds further weight to his selection. Unfortunately the same can't be said of Anderson but both are equally tidy in the outfield.

The wicket is green and assisted by a blowing gale, the likes of Anderson, Broad and man-of-the-moment Ryan Sidebottom, will find these conditions a lot more suited to their bowling than the monetary New Zealand attack.

The seamer-friendly environment means Mark Gillespie replaces the unlucky Jeetan Patel, which will arguably please England's batsmen who found the young spinner very tricky to get away and look far more confident against the medium-quicks.

In the last Test to be staged here, Muttiah Muralitharan and Daniel Vettori took ten wickets apiece, so there is enough encouragement there for both lefties, Vettori and Monty Panesar, to use their guile and drift the momentum in their respective sides favour.

Michael Vaughan was guilty of setting some pretty poor fields in the 1st Test, especially for Panesar. Both captains must be canny with their bowling rotations in the gustily breeze and not allow the opposition to settle.

England's batsmen haven't mustered a century in the last eight Tests, and with Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood looking out of sorts, Owais Shah will fancy his chances of a call-up.

England need to get up for it, right from ball one, and not at some point when they can hear the kettle boiling at tea.

Key Men

New Zealand: Daniel Vettori - As captain he must keep his troops motivated as well as making key decisions at difficult times. Also as the solitary spinner, he will be required to do the brunt of the bowling.

England: Alastair Cook - England need a century and if their premier batsman can set the tone from ball one, it will give everybody a huge lift, and bring back the absent competitive edge to England's batting line-up.

Teams

England 1 Alastair Cook, 2 Michael Vaughan (capt), 3 Andrew Strauss, 4 Kevin Pietersen, 5 Ian Bell, 6 Paul Collingwood, 7 Tim Ambrose (wk), 8 Stuart Broad, 9 Ryan Sidebottom, 10 James Anderson, 11 Monty Panesar.

New Zealand 1 Jamie How, 2 Matthew Bell, 3 Stephen Fleming, 4 Ross Taylor, 5 Mathew Sinclair, 6 Jacob Oram, 7 Brendon McCullum (wk), 8 Daniel Vettori (capt), 9 Mark Gillespie, 10 Kyle Mills, 11 Chris Martin.

The Aussies and the Springboks go run crazy in Joburg…

This was the day that in 2006, South Africa and Australia went head to head in the biggest run fest ever seen in one day cricket. Batting first, the Aussies amassed a world record 434 for 4, with Ricky Ponting bludgeoning 165 off just 105 balls. But just as some statto somewhere had finished re-writing the record book, he had to start all over again as the South Africans hit back with Herschelle Gibbs pasting 175 off 111 balls. Eventually, they pipped the Aussies with a ball and a wicket to spare.

Elsewhere on this day on this planet we call earth, Mahatma Gandhi, began a long march to the Arabian Sea in protest of British salt tax in 1930 while also protesting today in 1984 were Britain’s miners, following Margaret Thatcher’s announcement to close 20 coal mines, causing twenty thousand job losses. Fat lot of use it did them. This was also the day that in 2000, Pope John Paul II asked God's forgiveness for the sins of Roman Catholics through the ages. God didn’t reply. Funny that. He must have been busy. Or non-existent.

Finally it’s Louis Burger! as they say in Namibia to former West Indies all-rounder Eldine Baptiste who turns 48 today. It’s also big birthday bumps to charismatic Leicester City manager Ian Holloway (45); former Blur axeman Graham Coxon (40); useless waste of space Pete Doherty (30) and American husband collector Liza Minelli (62). This would also have been American writer Jack Kerouac’s 8th birthday had he not died from a massive internal hemorrhage in 1969.

"How does this thing work again Hoggy?" "Search me pal..."

Out with the old, in with the new...

Steve Harmison and Matthew Hoggard have paid the price for their poor form in Hamilton after being dropped for the second Test in New Zealand. Stuart Broad and James Anderson have been called up in their place.

Despite having 460 wickets between them, England have decided they can no longer risk hanging around to wait for the pair to regain their form after going one behind in the three-Test series. While Harmison's cut was expected after repeatedly causing more trouble for second slip than the batsman, Hoggard's is a little more of a surprise. Despite actually bowling slightly worse than Harmison in the first test (Hoggard's 1-122 only just beats Harmy's similarly disastrous 1-121), Hoggy has probably paid the price for our damning verdict on his all-too-frequent lame stints as nightwatchman. Instead, the youthful exuberance of Stuart Broad comes in after taking six wickets in the three One Day Internationals, and there's no doubting he's better with the bat too.

England Captain Vaughan explained the decision as if he was announcing a death in family, "It was a very tough call but we had a gut feeling that we needed to make a change. We all know how both of them can bowl and at the minute they are not bowling to the standards they set themselves. This is a great opportunity for Jimmy and Broady to establish themselves at this level."

England team to face New Zealand in Wellington:

Cook, Vaughan (capt), Strauss, Pietersen, Bell, Collingwood, Ambrose (wkt), Broad, Sidebottom, Panesar, Anderson.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


March is a great month for hat-tricks...

Ryan Sidebottom’s hat trick in Hamilton the other day was probably the only highlight in what turned out to be yet another dispirited England display. Sidebottom became the 37th player in Test cricket to take a hat-trick, and the eleventh English player to take one. Today in 2001 saw the 29th Test hat-trick, when Harbhajan Singh took the prized wickets of Ricky Ponting, Adam Gilchrist, Shane Warne in Calcutta.

Elsewhere in cricket today Mark Waugh scored 110 against New Zelaand for his third ton of the World Cup in 1996, while Hasan Raza was born today in 1982, and would go on to become the youngest Test cricket ever when he represented Pakistan at the age of just 14.

And in the non-cricketing world today, Sir Alexander Fleming, the man who first discovered penicillin, died of a heart attack today in 1955. While 170 people were killed in Madrid in 2004 after bombs exploded in three train stations during the morning rush-hour, andMikhail Gorbachev took over as Soviet leader today in 1985 following the death of Konstantin Chernenko.

And we say <em> Zaheer Khan!</em> as they say in India to former Zimbabwean batsman Dirk Viljoen (31), Chelsea’s moaning Minnie Didier Drogba (30), Newcastle flop Albert Luque (30), professional jackass Johnny Knoxville (37) and TV’s Shane Richie (44).


Australia's players have decided on a holiday to the Caribbean instead

Australia have postponed their tour of Pakistan later this month due to security fears.

The ongoing violence in the country, high